When the trickster came to stay
by Babychin
Summary: When Asgard turns it's back on Loki and SHIELD continues the punishment, What happens when the Black Widow revisits her morals?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys,**

**Okay, so this is my first fic, wish me luck! It was inspired by a late night reading Fanfiction.**

**A big thank you to Mimbillia, my beta reader, for battling seas of punctuation mistakes :)**

**Lets get on with it…**

* * *

When the Bifrost struck the rug in Nick Fury's office setting alarms blaring across the entire SHIELD base, Fury simply hit the master override switch, unfazed. He looked at the pattern now burnt on the rug, then up at the unexpected visitor.

"I hope you're gonna pay for that."

Thor shifted slightly, looking at the pattern, which was smoking slightly.

"Perhaps this can go some way towards compensating for your loss."

Thor pulled a bony man from where he had been lurking at his shoulder. Fury lifted his chin slightly, before making a curt not. He recognised the slim face, and dark hair.

"Compliments of Odin, in recognition of the pain he caused you."

"You don't want him?"

"No." Thor glanced at the man standing in front of him, who was shivering slightly. "He deserves to be punished by the people who he harmed."

"Very well Thor."

"Thank you, director Fury." Thor was then consumed by the Bifrost, disappearing. Fury turned to the raven haired man standing barefoot in his office.

"Well Loki, what am I going to do with you?"

* * *

"DUCK!"

The Wii remote flew through the air, only to be snatched by Natasha just as to was about to strike the window.

"I thought we told you to put the strap on?"

Clint bit his lip, and squirmed slightly."Sorry.

The avengers were having a games evening, which was rapidly turning into a deadly match of Wii bowling. Natasha was perched on the arm of the sofa, smirking and dangling the remote in front of Clint's nose.

"Put the strap on."

Tony stood at the kitchenette, hopefully out of remote range, with a glass in his hand. He took a large slurp, trying to calm his nerves. It hadn't been all that long since the entire room had been a smashed up wreck, and he was beginning to think arming Bruce, Steve and Clint with the controllers was asking for trouble.

"Ooh! Can we try fencing?" Steve asked earnestly, about to click on the icon.

"No!" Tony barked "No, god, for the love of intact windows and un-smashed TV's!"

Steve looked very confused, not quite aware as to how close they had been to a smashed window. Natasha held up a hand to her mouth, trying to hide a smirk.

"I have Director Fury on the line, sir." Jarvis' voice rang out over what could have become a pandemonium.

"Thank god." Tony muttered "Put him on the main screen."

"Over your game?"

"Yes, Jarvis, over the goddamn game." Tony took another shaky sip of scotch.

Fury looked down at the Avengers, giving them a once over, noting the snacks on the coffee table and the games and films spilled out on the floor.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No, of course not sir." Steve answered, glancing at his team mates "If you want to talk to us as a team, we're one short."

"I know that Captain. In fact Thor has just visited me. And I only need one of you." The oversized head of Fury turned to look at Natasha, who had her arm dangled over Clint's head.

"We need our best …ahem , agent."

The unspoken message in the word Fury chose set the previously relaxed room on edge. Natasha bowed her head slightly, knowing it was her job to go.

"I'll be there presently sir." Natasha gave Clint a quick peck on the forehead. She turned to Tony.

"We'll do Twister when I get back."

Tony finished his drink, before casting his eyes around the room. He didn't think there was anything too valuable they could break.

* * *

Natasha went straight to the interrogation rooms, where Fury and a few choice agents were waiting.

"What were you doing when I called?"

Natasha stared at the door, trying to quell a slightly sick feeling that was rising. She didn't like this aspect of her job, but so long as she did it, there wasn't another poor soul who would have to learn.

"Wii."

Fury smiled, recalling the last time he had caught the Avengers playing Wii. It had involved copious amounts of alcohol, a full scale assault on Stark Tower and a lot of traumatised agents. Apparently Barton's dancing was that bad. After that Just Dance was banned.

"Who is it?" Nat asked, effectively breaking Fury out of the amusing memory. The smile slid of his face. He simply leaned forwards and opened the door, "Compliments of Odin."

Loki looked up, making eye contact with Natasha for an instant before looking down again. Natasha's eyes widened slightly, and she turned back to question Fury, but the door had been closed behind her. The message was simple. Find out everything. Don't hold back. Natasha went over to the prince and squatted down in front of him. She took in all the appearance of the prisoner; the sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, the slashes in his clothes and lack of shoes. But most of all she saw the angle of his shoulders and the reluctance to meet her eyes again. He looked… she tried to think of a word to sum it all up… He looked tired, injured, abandoned and suspicious. He looked defeated.

"Well, Agent Romanoff?" Loki had an edge to his voice; it sounded like he was dancing the line between screaming and crying. As if he was losing control. Natasha didn't like it at all. She could see where he had been hurt, and where he was trying to hide it, because she knew the signs from her own experiences. What had happened to the god who she had seen in the cell? He had been able to twist her words and manipulate without trying; the wreck in front of her would obviously struggle to keep up a conversation. Fury evidently expected her to be violent and encounter resistance. Natasha didn't think either would happen. It was the whole 'good cop, bad cop' routine. She would be kind now. She could be nasty later. She stood up and walked round to Loki who pressed himself further into the corner, turning his head away from her. She sat down next to him, giving his shoulder a slight nudge, and felt him tense up beside her, a tiny whimper escaping his lips.

A whimper? Natasha frowned. The last time they had met, everything that he said or did was measured, controlled. Nothing happened involuntarily. What had happened to him?

"Loki." Natasha tried to think of what to say. What did they do to you? How come you're down here? Why did you aid the Chitauri? What did you do to Barton? What came out was slightly different.

"Can I help?" She asked softly. It was the only thing she had ever wanted to hear when she herself was being tortured. It gave you the option to refuse, to put up a guise of strength. But you could say yes.

"No" Loki's voice broke halfway.

Natasha didn't think it was because he wanted to look strong, but because she could genuinely do nothing. She caught herself then. What was she doing? This was the war criminal, the murderer and alien nutcase who had nearly levelled Manhattan. He had manipulated everyone, controlled everything. He had almost driven Clint insane. Selvig had gotten into the habit of going out commando. He could be playing her right then. Time for some bad cop.

"Well, you can help me." Loki tensed again and this time Natasha felt a slight tremble as well, that continued after he had forced himself to relax. She glanced at the door, wondering what the god could offer Fury in terms of infomataion. Her mind settled on one subject; the Chitauri.

"How can we protect ourselves against the Chitauri?"

"I don't know."

"Come on Loki, you were their ally. You led their army. No way can you expect me to believe you don't know their weaknesses."

"So everyone keeps…" Loki drew his knees up, coughing harshly. When he started speaking, there was a rattle to his breath. "…keeps telling me. I don't remember any of the crimes you accuse me of."

"You knew my name."

"And so I must remember you? No. Thor simply told me of you, and what I did."

"Yeah right."

Loki looked up at Natasha, and she suddenly got a sense of how far up the creek they really were. He looked at her with the greenest eyes she had ever seen. They were a beautiful, vivid green. Not the pale icy depths she knew so well. Not the eyes that haunted her dreams.

Shit.

"Can I stand?" Loki asked. Natasha had to process what he had actually said, as she had not been paying attention.

"You don't need my permission."

"I was under the impression that I did."

"Er, go ahead then." Natasha shuffled away from Loki, and pushed herself up. Loki leant heavily on the wall for support. His legs shook from the effort.

"'Cause I'm so generous, feel free to walk around a bit too." Loki didn't even look up.

He took a few shaky steps. He looked like Bambi, barely able to find his feet. He got four steps, before his knees gave way. Natasha reached out to grab his shirt to stop him, but it couldn't bear his slight weight. It tore, leaving Natasha with a beaten up panel of green cloth, staring at Loki, who was sprawled on the floor. Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped. His torso was a mess of blue, purple and red. The smell that hit her like a wall was that of rotting flesh. Some of the gashes were oozing blood or other liquids. Nat could see the traces of knives, whips, bullets and acids. Those didn't even account for some of the more insidious looking wounds. Loki didn't rise from the dropped the shirt, and turned round in anger, pounding on the door and swearing in Russian. Someone got the message because the door swung open. Nat stepped out and looked at the director.

"I'm not going to torture him." She growled, "Someone's already done you dirty work for you." She stormed down the hall, tears in her eyes. Because all she could think of was the seven year old, screaming out, bleeding out. Hoping that there was only one man in the world, the universe capable of doing what he had been doing. But Loki's torturers were an entirely different league.

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**Thank you for reading. Please review. I will continue this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys!**

**Thank you for the lovely messages so far - it really makes an author feel good.**

**Hopefully everyone will enjoy this chapter, there's a little bit of violence so if you're squeamish about that kinda thing...**

**Again, many thanks to my beta, Mimbillia.**

**Let's get on with it!**

* * *

"Miss Romanoff is at the door, sir." Jarvis informed Tony, who had just finished moving Pepper's favourite vase out of the lounge, for fear of what twister might do.

"Ok Jarvis."

"I feel the need to inform you; she's talking Russian."

"Let her in before she knocks the door down." Tony said, sprinting to the door as heavy thumps rang down the corridor. When Tony looked at Natasha, every nerve in his body screamed 'run'. She looked furious.

"Wow. Calm down Nat. What did Fury make you do?"

Natasha glared at him, before storming down the corridor. Tony jogged after her, wondering why it was only the redheads in his life that could give him that look. She rounded the corner and went into the living room. The humour of seeing the Twister match collapse in front of her was totally lost on the assassin. She marched straight past the pile, sinking onto the sofa breathing heavily through her nose. Clint stuck his head up through Steve's legs, causing the blonde to go fiery red.

"Nat?" he asked, struggling to get free of the tangle of limbs.

"It's Loki." she glanced up.

"So?" Clint grunted as Bruce kneed him in the stomach. Dummy scooted over and began to try and help untangle them.

"Picture me, Clint. Like I how I was…."

"Ok." Clint frowned, unsure of where the conversation was going, and why Dummy was pulling at his shirt.

"Ten… twenty times worse."

"What?" Clint kicked Dummy, who span into the corner, whirring indignantly.

"I couldn't see any skin that retained its normal colour."

"Should I feel sorry?"

"Yes." Natasha barked looking up, before striding over to the pile. She grabbed Clint by his shoulders and pulled him free of the tangle.

He stared at her

"His eyes were green"

Clint stood there, mouth slightly ajar, trying to work out the significance.

"Green?" Tony piped up.

"Nah, his eyes are blue. Very blue.100% Blue."

Natasha looked at him

"I know. He says he doesn't remember the invasion either."

"It's an act."Clint said, not ready to forgive anyone for what he had gone through.

"No. You didn't see him. The injuries, the eyes….." Natasha trailed off.

"Jarvis, show me SHIELD's footage of Loki."

"Yes sir."

Loki's cell flickered up on screen, where Fury's face had been a few hours ago. He hadn't moved from where Natasha had left him. She felt guilty for leaving him like that. Blood and dust mixed on the floor. The avengers were left shocked in silence.

"Where was Thor in all of this?" Steve asked the silent room "What's Fury playing at?"

Clint squeezed Natasha's hand. He had been prepared to shoot at Loki until he was a walking talking pin cushion. But he wouldn't wish this on anyone. Not his worst enemy, not his torturer. No one. As they watched, another agent entered the cell. Everyone in the room hoped that the man had gone in to help. The agent actually kicked Loki in the side. Repeatedly. Natasha curled into Clint's side, unable to watch. The archer couldn't tear his gaze away. Loki shifted, and looked up into the camera, making a silent plea.

Everyone saw it. Green eyes. Green like the grass when it has just rained. Bruce had to run out of the room, for fear the he might hulk out. After his vow to help others, the brutality he was witnessing left him close to losing control. Tony stared, uncomprehending. Afghanistan looked like a picnic, a veritable joy in comparison. Steve tasted bile. What had the world gone to in his seventy years asleep?

"We gotta help." Clint broke the silence.

Natasha glanced up at him, grateful. Everyone nodded. Bruce crept back in to the room to listen.

"How?" Tony said, watching the broken god try and defend himself against the agent. How can we help him, when he has gone so far?

"Jarvis, I want every piece of information you can get up on screen. Anything SHIELD has, I want."

"Yes sir. Shall I display his vitals as well?"

Tony paused. He feared what he might see.

"Yep Jarvis, all of it." The screen was suddenly alive, with several camera angles and orders. What concerned Bruce most of all however, were his vital signs. Temperature, O2 saturation, lung capacity, all were low, way lower than they should be. His heart rate was elevated to almost twice what it should have been. He wasn't even moving.

"Tony."

"Yeah Bruce?"

"He needs to be out of that cell."

"Yeah, like yesterday."

"What can we do?" The question hung in the air.

They all watched, as the agent ceased kicking Loki and dragged him up by the hair. It caused rivulets of blood to flow down his face. He then was thrown against the wall. Through the audio feed, a dull crunch was heard, and a grunt of pain.

"You damn alien." the agent hissed "You killed my best buddy."

Natasha tensed up. She knew that when your judgement was clouded, you lost the ability to be human.

"He should be removed, for being personally attached, for being motivated by the death of a friend." Clint muttered

"Oh, and I wasn't personally attached?" Natasha asked "This is all off record, unofficial, not by the book. They can send whoever they like in there."

When Loki didn't rise, the agent walked over to him, put his hands against the wall, and continued to kick Loki in the stomach.

"I…..don't…..remember…..please." Loki gasped in between each blow.

"Please, you expect me to believe that crap?"

The Avengers stared, watching in terror, as another agent opened the door and walked in. The man backed away from Loki to allow the woman to get to his bleeding form.

"You killed my sister, you son of a bitch. So this is a special punishment." She knelt beside him, and whispered into his ear "This is reserved for the very worst. The monsters. Those who no-one will come looking for. For those who the law turns a blind eye to, so that justice can be carried out. No rights, no laws protecting you. Just the whip and salt." She held up the items so Loki could see them. Fear flooded his eyes.

Clint swore explosively. "She's gonna rub salt over him?"

"I thought that was an expression." Steve said through his fingers.

"Every agent with a grudge is gonna exact their revenge on Loki." Natasha breathed, terrified.

The female agent stood up and motioned for the man to get back. He stood in the corner, looking very pleased. Tony wanted to punch him. When the whip came down, Loki barely had enough strength to make a sound. But when the salt was poured over his back, he arched, screaming in pain, tears rolling down his face.

"Shit." Tony said.

She did it again and again. Even when Loki lost consciousness she kept on hitting him, and pouring salt over his back until salty rivers of blood ran across the ground. Bruce glanced anxiously at Loki's vital signs, all of which were dangerously close to flat-lining.

"Right, I go in, say I want some revenge, ask if I can bring him back here, they say yes and then we help him." Clint declared, standing up.

"What?" Tony chocked on his glass of scotch.

"I have the biggest grudge here, right?" Clint said, daring anyone to argue with his eyes.

"I'd say the other guy got even a while back." Bruce sighed, feeling nervous. Natasha's mouth twitched with a ghost of smile.

"OK. Then what? They're not going to hand him over like that." Steve snapped his fingers.

"Why not?" Clint challenged "If they just want him to talk, and it's all unofficial, why not?"

"It might work." Tony said, making up a tray of drinks. He wandered over to the coffee table, kicking the forgotten games away. Natasha grabbed some vodka, knocking it back in one. She looked extremely nervous. Clint made a note to ask why later.

"It's gotta work." Bruce said. "Loki needs to be out of there." He nodded to Clint, who gave Natasha a quick peck on the cheek before striding out, slinging on his quiver as he went.

"Yeah." Tony slurped his drink. Most of it slopped down his front. He didn't realise how hard his was shaking.

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**Thank you for reading, please review. See you next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone,**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, I'm glad people like it.**

**Once more, a big thanks to Mimbillia.**

**Thank you for reading ;)**

**On with the story!**

* * *

Clint had actually been a little worried by how easy it was to get Loki. He had gone into Fury's office, demanding he could get even with Loki and that was it. Fury took him down to the cell, opening the door and said "Get it out of your system, Barton. If anyone deserves it, it's you.

"Can I take him back to the tower?" Clint asked, crossing his fingers

"Whatever you need to do to make him talk." Fury glared at the heap on the floor.

Clint reckoned he saw a shadow of doubt run across his face. He looked up, nodded and strode away. Clint knew he couldn't show any kindness whilst he was still in SHIELD, but he was itching to go over and help in some way, anyway. How could anyone not want to help? He shivered inwardly, before going over to Loki. He was still unconscious, which calmed His nerves. He didn't know how he would have reacted to Loki, even if he wanted to help.

He picked him up under the arms, trying not to notice the blood or the way he could see there were noticeable broken ribs underneath the skin. The guy was really light, and looked like a corpse close up. The hitched breathing was so much more obvious close up, and the sheen of sweat wasn't noticeable on the video. Clint glanced up at one of the cameras, knowing they'd be watching. He moved quickly to the door, glancing back at the cell. The blood seemed to spread out across most of the floor. Clint shivered, before shifting his grip on Loki.

He strode out of SHIELD, ignoring the looks and comments, hoping he looked savage, rather than disgusted. People stared, trying to work out what was going on. No-one tried to stop him. Loki kept on slipping farther down in Clint's grasp and every time he shifted, Clint could feel broken bones moving within the slight man's body. Looking down he could see Loki's lips were tinged purple. Clint bit his tongue, and moved quicker than ever. Someone in the crowd yelled over the heads of the rest, "Give him hell."

Clint finally reached his car, which was hastily rammed up against the curb. He bent over to open the back door, but his quiver got in the way. Several arrows clattered to the pavement. He swore trying and failing to shove Loki gently into the back seat. After a few seconds of battling with slender limbs, the door shut. He swept his arrows off the ground, and jumped into the front seat. Turning his ignition with trembling fingers, he raced down the road.

Natasha, Bruce, Tony and Steve watched the entire event through various cameras Jarvis had accessed, including the multiple traffic cameras Clint set off as he returned to the Tower. When the archer finally arrived at the door, they were all waiting.

"Hey, easy Clint, be gentle." Tony scolded, as they tried to wrestle Loki out of the car from the position he had rolled into, during one of Clint's more dangerous turns.

"I'm trying. This bloody leg's stuck, hold on."

Neither of them noticed Bruce going distinctly green behind them, until the Hulk ripped the roof of Clint's car, picked the god up with on large hand, and stomped back into the Tower, cradling Loki like a doll against his chest, his massive breaths ruffling the trickster's hair. Clint collapsed onto the ground, panting.

"Doesn't he deserve it?" He asked, still confused as to how he felt.

"No!" Steve exclaimed "There's a reason we don't torture our prisoners!"

"He tortured us." Clint said indignantly, still unsure as to what he remembered of his time with Loki. Natasha alone understood his confusion, as his only confidant. She plonked herself down on the pavement, leant her head on Clint's shoulder and rubbed her hand in small circles on his back. Whenever Clint woke up in the night, shaking and crying, Natasha assumed this position. Clint nuzzled into Nat's neck, trying to choke back a sob. He was still scared, scared that he couldn't remember, or understand. It terrified him that someone could do that to him. Steve and Tony stood awkwardly, aware they were intruding on something very personal. They sat there for a long while, longer than any of them cared to count.

"Sir, Dr. Banner has requested your presences in the medical wing." Jarvis rang through the open doors. Clint lifted his head, and nodded slightly at Natasha.

"Let's get rid of some demons." He said slowly.

"Heal them, perhaps." muttered Natasha.

"Someone has taken a lot of trouble to avoid any visible skin." Bruce explained, pointing out the almost perfect line of bruising on Loki's wrist and neck. "But everywhere else, their violence is unrestrained."

Loki lay on a gurney, with a sheet neatly folded across his stomach. Everywhere, bar his hands and face, were covered in layers of purple and red bruising. White gauze made a stark contrast where it criss-crossed some of the crueller injuries.

"Where his ribs were broken, some had been forced into the lungs." Bruce sighed "I had to remove the damaged parts and use pins to reconstruct his ribs. It means that Loki won't be able to breathe too well. He'll be stuck wearing a nasal cannula, unless he can heal himself when he wakes up."

Everyone stared at the god on the bed.

"Wouldn't he have healed himself and done a runner if he could?" Tony asked, leaning against the edge of the bed.

"Most likely." Bruce nodded, taking in the information that the ECG was displaying. As far as he could tell, Loki was out of danger medically, but he couldn't even begin to gauge the psychological damage Loki would have suffered, especially if he didn't understand why he was being punished. Natasha shivered, pushing into Clint. He just stared, not quite comprehending. The way he had seen Loki before, when he was being controlled, was all powerful, a master of his emotions . The Chitauri wouldn't have followed a weak leader, or so he was led to believe. The proud and powerful being, who he simply couldn't fight against , wasn't reflected in the broken person who lay in front of him now, relying on help to breathe. He felt Natasha shaking against him, and pulled her into a hug.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, it just feels a bit close to home, you know?" Natasha whispered back. Clint nodded.

"We're gonna help him, aren't we." Steve asked.

The rest of the team nodded, sealing an unspoken contract they had made. If Loki was innocent, they were going to do everything they could do to help him get answers.

They had all experienced hurt, unbelievable hurt in their lives and all knew the importance of keeping as close to the 'good' side as you could. Torture fell into the shady regions. Yet the world was not black and white; it was a mess of greys. All the Avengers had also danced on some of the greyer sections of the world, and Loki had also. But none of them were beyond salvation, and so hopefully, nor was Loki.

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**Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and you are going to review. See you next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys,**

**Sorry about the lateness of this installment - various computer problems got in the way (grrrrrrr)**

**I've just realized that this will eventually fall into the tragedy genre, sorry if that scares some of you off :)**

**Hopefully you'll stick with it.**

**Thank you for all the reviews - they are so helpful, and make me smile to read them**

**Thanks to Mimbillia, y'all know why**

**Lets dive back in!**

* * *

Loki's eyes snapped back, almost blinded by the bright light above him. Disorientated, he began to panic, hands raking at the sheets across his body. They found the cannula around his face. Loki's eyes widened and fearing what the device was, he pulled it away from his face. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed he was lying on, gripping it tightly as his world spun briefly, ignoring the pain that worked its way up his body. The prince frowned, noting the pain was not as sharp as he had expected. He then noticed the needle in his arm. Loki scowled, trying to remember the events that had led up to that moment. With a jolt of panic he noticed he wasn't wearing his top and his hands rose around his body protectively.

Iron bands were starting to pull at his lungs, his breaths becoming shallower and more panicked. Dark spots swam in his vision. He felt fear rising in his throat, as he became increasingly light-headed. He thought he heard someone talking to him, but a buzzing filled his ears. The spots increased in size. Realizing he was on the edge of consciousness, Loki made a desperate noise, hoping to catch the attention of the unseen speaker. He barely noticed as Bruce came sprinting into the infirmary, closely followed by Steve and Clint, and grabbed the discarded cannula, fitting it over Loki's ears, guiding the nubs into his nose. Steve came over to push the prince down onto his bed, trying to ignore the way the man pulled weakly at his sleeves, breathless and helpless. As Loki got his erratic breathing under control, and lay shaking on the bed, Bruce absent-mindedly stroked his arm, trying to offer some comfort. Steve stood over the trickster, staring at his face, which was ashen and sweaty. Loki began to look around the room. His eyes widened in panic as he spotted Bruce who, through his oxygen depleted delirium, had green skin. Steve leant over and shushed Loki, who eventually relaxed. It took several minutes for Loki to calm down. Through the ill exterior Clint saw some of the calculating intelligence shine through again.

"What are you…." Loki started, before stopping as the memories of his beating in the SHIELD cell surfaced.

He tried to shuffle away from Steve and Bruce, confirming to Steve Loki thought he was going to be struck again. He gave the gods shoulder a quick squeeze.

"Hey, calm down." Loki switched his stare between them, who smiled reassuringly "We're not going to let you get hurt again."

"But.." Loki frowned, confused as to why his supposed enemies were being kind. "Thor said I was-"

"You've been a total ass Loki." Clint interrupted, stepping forward form the shadows where he had been lurking. "You did a lot of bad things." Loki shivered at the hate in Clint's voice, and at what Thor had told him he had done.

"I'm truly sorry, but-"

"It wasn't you." Clint interrupted again.

Loki stared in silence, amazed that someone actually believed him. Then disbelief spread across his sharp features, then becoming marred with confusion and doubt.

"Why?" Loki demanded, starting to sit up again.

"Natasha says so." Clint responded sharply.

Loki deflated, hoping that the archer had found it in his heart to forgive him. Evidently not.

"And we're not blind, Loki." Bruce took over "You're a changed man, if I may offer my humble opinion." Loki glanced up at the doctor gratefully. Bruce looked up at one of the monitors, on which was JARVIS was displaying various charts and figures.

"Hey, you can try sitting up now." Loki swung his legs over the edge of the bed again, sighing thankfully as he stayed fully in control of his breathing.

"What's this contraption?" he asked, gesturing up at his face.

"The cannula?" Bruce asked. Loki stared blankly. "It's to help you breath, as your lungs are pretty damaged." Loki fingered the tube thoughtfully, nodding sadly. He remembered struggling to fill his lungs to call out for help, when in the cold cell, being beaten by the smiling man. He lowered his head in shame.

"Hey, you with us?" Steve asked, trying to see the god's face, which he had hidden behind a curtain of hair. Loki nodded. Bruce gestured over to Steve, to leave it be. Loki would talk about it all when he was ready and on his terms.

"So keep it on, OK?" Loki nodded again.

"Shall we try moving you somewhere more comfortable?" Bruce suggested, offering his arms to Loki. "You legs are just about OK, so you might be alright, but we're taking it easy." Bruce said soothingly, guiding Loki to his feet.

Loki let go of the kind doctor. He tried taking a step, but when he lifted his leg, the other buckled beneath him. Clint lunged forward, catching the slight man in his arms, and guided him to the floor. Loki leant into the arms , breathing heavily through the pain. Clint saw real pain in Loki's eyes, and thought back to when they had found him. His heart thawed slightly. He sat, with Loki on his lap, staring up at Bruce.

"We'll get you a wheel chair." Bruce said. Steve clapped Clint on the shoulder, before going out through the automatic doors. Bruce re-emerged with a wheel chair, which Clint ended up basically lifting Loki into.

"Lets go and meet some friends." Loki flinched.

"Friends? I've forgotten what that means." he said bitterly.

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**Thanks for reading. Please review.**

**The next chapter will be late as I , the one who uploads the story, am on a short holiday.(There will be several cases like this over the summer break)**

**See you next chapter.**


	5. Note

**Hi guys,**

**There isn't going to be an update now for a while; holidays are going to start getting in the way, so I'm separated from a computer.**

**You may now hit me over the head with your keyboards *smack* Thank you.**

**In all seriousness, I feel really bad about this, but on the plus side, it should all be written by the time I come back :)**

**Hopefully you'll all find some new fictions to enjoy, and the return.**

**Happy holidays to anyone who's going.**

**PS**

**I'm kinda looking for a new project relativity soon, if anyone has any requests, I'm stuck for ideas :D**

**PM them over - I'm up for anything :^)**


	6. Another note

**AN continued...**

**Hello again!  
I'm very sorry that I can't provide a new chapter, I feel extremely mean, like I've neglected you all.  
You are of course entitled to hate me.  
In truth, I'm really struggling to get this chapter out of my head and onto paper, but I can promise you this; no matter how bad it is, I will send something to my beta (mimbillia, who writes some great stuff if you want to check it out) by Monday :)  
Thank you to everyone who messaged me, spurring me on, and a big shout out to anyone in South Korea - I'm currently working towards my blue belt in Tae Kwon Do!  
Hopefully I'll be able to reward all your patience with an amazing chapter, it's taken long enough.**

Two more days... I better get a move on *gulp*


	7. Chapter 5

**An - I'm so soooooo sorry it has taken this long to get the chapter to you!**  
**I'd like to have a cool excuse, like I broke both my arms and had to type with my nose or something, but in reality school got over my head and I really struggled with this chapter. I hope everyone likes it!**  
**I feel like this needs a big introduction - having taken over six weeks to churn it out :)**  
**Thank you for all the lovely messages, without you guys I wouldn't keep on writing.**  
**Thanks to mimbillia, who had to beta this - you truly are a angel!**  
**Finally thank you to you, for reading this and returning to it after so long.**  
**I hope you enjoy!**

Tony sat awkwardly on his sofa, trying not to move from the position he was in, as Natasha was sleeping against him. Steve strode through the doors.  
"Dude, help me." Tony hissed, before tensing up as Natasha shuffled.  
"What do you want me to do?" Steve asked gently.  
"Swap?" Tony suggested. Steve gave him a look.  
"Wake her up. Loki is coming up."  
"I'm not waking her up, you wake her up!"  
"Tony, I value the current position of my limbs."  
"What's that?"  
"Attached."  
"And you think I don't?"  
The men were cut short when the door opened again, revealing Loki, Clint and Bruce. Clint glanced at Nat and raised an eyebrow at Tony.  
"Help." he mouthed. Clint smiled, before letting go of the wheel chair handles to walk over. He leant over, before tickling Natasha violently underneath the ribcage and leaping back. Natasha shot up, and half went to grab Tony's neck, before realising what had happened.  
"Idiot." she grumbled at Clint, rubbing her neck.  
"Guys" Bruce said, getting their attention. Loki shuffled under their stare.  
"Hey Loki." Natasha said smiling.  
"I'm truly sorry-" Loki began. Natasha held up her hand.  
"Stop. Don't' do that." she said. Being amongst the Avengers, Loki felt a torrent of memories rush through his mind. One thought stood out above the rest.  
"I killed so many people." Loki whispered, bowing his head.  
An uncomfortable silence fell on the room.  
"What do you remember Loki?" Steve asked softly. Loki glanced up, his eyes wide and pleading.  
"Every thing I did that amused them." Loki whispered "I can remember every life I took, and, and-" He paused and looked up at Clint "Every time I took over someone's mind, and subjugated them forcing my, on will on them. Everything in between, I know of, but can't remember." Loki took a shuddering breath, lapsing into silence as tears ran freely down his cheeks.  
"What do you mean?" Bruce frowned  
"Thor filled in some of the gaps, and then some of your agents were so kind as to complete their tales." Loki said, fiddling with his slender fingers.  
"No," Bruce frowned again "What do you mean amused them." Loki looked up, before covering his face in his hands.  
"Every time I did something truly abhorrent, they let me watch. I could feel my body moving, but couldn't stop it. Even the thoughts that motivated me I could hear. And," Loki's voice broke, as fresh tears worked down his face and through his fingers  
"The laughter. I could always hear laughter." The god broke down into sobs, his entire frame shaking violently as he took gulps of breaths. Natasha walked over, and rested he hand on his shoulder.  
"It''s okay, Loki. It wasn't you."  
"But what if it was? Every moment I saw, and every moment I couldn't, what if it was me? I can't tell. I don't know." Loki sobbed. Natasha knelt down beside him, and pried his fingers away from his face, pulling stands of wet hair always from his eyes.  
"Was it something you would do?" she asked gently. Loki bit his lip, and nodded slowly.  
"Every action I saw, and all those I am told I did, I believe I am capable of, or could conceive and act upon."  
"Bu would you actually do of all that?" Natasha asked "You say you found it abhorrent."  
"I did, I do." Loki hiccupped. He paused, and thought, before taking a large breath. "I wouldn't do that. Not for myself, not for the Chitauri. I can't….." Loki trailed off. Natasha nodded with satisfaction.  
"They controlled you."  
Loki nodded slightly. In his heart, he still didn't believe that the Chitauri could have controlled him, so as to achieve the accuracy of his character, which they did to ensure he would be framed for their deeds, without his input. He simply felt that it was too accurate, too close to his real self. However, he also found the acts awful, and couldn't believe that he would carry them out. At least, not willingly. His thoughts turning to what he couldn't remember, Loki began to panic, fearing what else he had done, and had been omitted from Thor's account. He felt like he was drowning under the terror of what he had done. His chest rose and fell rapidly, as suddenly he couldn't get enough air into his lungs. Bruce was at his side almost immediately. Natasha stood back as the doctor calmed Loki down.  
"I'm sorry." Loki gasped "I'm not normally this nervous." he frowned.  
"Yeah, you were a cocky bastard when we met you." Tony grinned, earning a few pointed looks from the others.  
"Language, Tony." Pepper walked in through the door of the living room. Tony jogged over, to give her a peck on the cheek.  
"Loki?" Pepper whispered into his ear.  
"Roll with it." Tony whispered back, squeezing Pepper's arms reassuringly as he leant back.  
"Hey, Loki." Pepper smiled. Loki stared at her, without the faintest idea as to who she was. "I'm Pepper, Tony's girlfriend, and PA."  
"She keeps me happy." Tony grinned.  
"I keep you from burning the house down, and drag you out and about now and then." Pepper countered, smiling fondly. Loki watched the exchange quietly, with a kind of longing written on his face, but when she turned back to him, he forced a smile onto his face.  
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Pepper?" Loki said, hoping he had heard the name correctly. Pepper nodded. He extended his had to shake hers, but as he did, the sleeve of his borrowed top slid down his arm and the bruises and cuts were exposed. Pepper's eyes widened in horror.  
"What happened?" she breathed, as Loki hastily pulled the sleeve down. He glanced up at the Avengers, who were all looking at him with a poorly masked curiosity. He sighed, resigned to the fact he would have to tell the tale.  
"When Thor returned me to Asgard, I already had a reputation. I had already committed heinous crimes, in the eyes of my," Loki paused, his eyes filling with pain. He bit his lip, before continuing. "...the people. Odin is wise, he knew the people sought vengeance. He also knew that imprisonment was the only penalty he could give. That alone would not satisfy the people." The Avengers watched as the previously proud god shrunk in on himself. It appeared to be an involuntary action, as he continued his story "So he allowed people access to my cell, with instructions to do with me what they pleased." Loki's voice was haunted with the fear and hurt of his time in the cells, and it shook the Avengers to the core.  
"They couldn't mark my face or hands, lest my mother discovered. It had to appear that I was simply languishing in my cell."  
Clint reached round Natasha to give her a hug. Tears were falling down her face, before be brushed away hastily.  
"My ability to wield magic was taken from me, so I couldn't fight back. Their retribution was swift and cruel." Loki dropped his head, engulfed in the memory of the pain, and the taunts. Silent sobs shook him. The avengers watched him, unsure of what to say or do. To be beaten by the people they considered their own, it shook them all. Natasha was desperately wiping her face, trying to mask her tears. She knew the pain of torture, and that of not belonging. She told herself she had found a place in the world, but she had never truly healed. Loki's tale brought all the pain and doubt to the forefront of her mind.  
"Finally, Odin decided that I had suffered enough at the hands of Asgard, and sent me here to Earth. Your director had a similar idea to that of Odin's. Then Romanoff came."  
Natasha was grateful that Loki hadn't used her first name, as she didn't quite want to be on first name terms yet. Everyone stood in silence, thinking on what they had heard and whether they believed it. Judgment lay heavy in the air, almost tangible like a taste on everyone's tongue (I like this d. Finally Tony broke the silence.  
"Well, that was depressing." He announced. "Let's do something to cheer ourselves up."  
Bruce looked up.  
"Tony, a word please." The two men walked into a corner, hiding furtively behind a ornamental tree.  
"If you think your giving Loki alcohol, you're delusional." Bruce hissed.  
"No, I wouldn't waste my good drink on such a lost cause." Tony replied "I'm thinking wii."  
Bruce blanched.


End file.
